When you were young, someone likely taught you about physical hygiene. You learned how to wash your hands, brush your teeth, and cover your mouth when you were sick. You learned that these things mattered not only for your own health, but for the health of the people around you. We understand this instinctively now. We know that unaddressed physical illness spreads, weakens, and affects entire systems, not just one body. But very few of us were ever taught about emotional hygiene.
No one sat us down and explained that emotions, when left unattended, also move through systems and are carried in tone, posture, breath, and nervous system state. How chronic stress, unresolved grief, unprocessed anger, or long-held fear don’t stay contained neatly inside one person, but ripple outward, shaping relationships, households, workplaces, and even the bodies of those nearby.
Science now shows us why this happens. Emotions are not abstract experiences; they are biological events. Every emotional state creates a chemical response in the body. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline surge through the bloodstream. The immune system shifts. Inflammation rises. Heart rate and breathing patterns change. Over time, a body living in chronic emotional strain begins to show physical symptoms. Pain increases, sleep becomes disrupted, and digestion falters. The nervous system stays on high alert, exhausting the tissues it is meant to protect. And just as physical illness is contagious, emotional dysregulation is too.
The nervous system is designed to co-regulate. We unconsciously mirror the states of those around us through facial expression, vocal tone, body language, and subtle cues processed by the brain long before conscious thought. This is why being around someone in chronic distress can leave you feeling drained or unwell, even if no words were spoken. The body is reading signals and responding as if danger or imbalance is present.
Emotional hygiene is not about suppressing feelings or being endlessly positive; it is about tending to the inner landscape with the same care we give the physical body. It is the practice of noticing when emotions need movement, expression, rest, or support before they harden into patterns that strain the nervous system and spill into the tissues.
In the bodies I have worked with, I have seen what happens when emotional hygiene is ignored. The fascia tightens like fabric being pulled too long in one direction. Muscles brace as if waiting for an impact that never comes. Breath becomes shallow, and pain appears without an apparent injury. I have also seen what happens when emotions are given space and gentle attention. The body softens, and the nervous system exhales. Healing begins not because something was fixed, but because something was finally tended.
So, why does this matter? Because emotions live in the body. They influence physiology, immunity, pain, and resilience. And when we care for them with intention, we don’t just protect our own health; we create healthier systems for everyone we touch.
Emotional hygiene is not a luxury, and it is not optional. Just as a virus can move unseen through a room, unprocessed emotional stress moves through the nervous system, the fascia, and the people around us. The body does not distinguish between external and internal threats. Chronic emotional strain activates the same stress pathways as physical danger, elevating cortisol, suppressing immune function, altering inflammation, and reshaping how the brain and tissues respond to the world. When emotions are never tended, the body eventually takes on the burden of expression through pain, fatigue, illness, or shutdown. This is not a weakness. It is biology asking for care.
So I invite you to consider this not as self-improvement, but as responsibility. Tending to your emotional hygiene is how you protect your body, your nervous system, and the spaces you move through. It is how you show up cleaner, clearer, and safer for yourself and for others. Just as you would not knowingly spread illness, you can learn not to carry unexamined emotional weight into every room, relationship, and touch. When emotions are acknowledged, metabolized, and given space to move, the body softens. Systems regulate. Healing becomes possible. This is not about perfection. It is about care. And the body has been waiting for us to understand that all along.
